Picture this in your mind: You're walking down the street and you hear a homeless person asking you for some change. What do you do?
The options running through your head are probably something along the lines of:
1. Give the poor soul whatever loose change or bills your have on you.
2. Sincerely apologize for not having any extra cash on you and then go on your way
3. Ignore the person completely and go on your way.(1)
Regardless of which of those options you picked, chances are that by the time you are down the block, you'll have forgotten about that person and instead will be focusing on whatever task you have at hand.
Ok now lets envision a different scenario: You're walking through a hallway and you hear a plea of agony for help coming out of a room. What do you do?
1. Go into that room and figure out what is going on.
2. Ignore the plea and go on your way.(2)
The people who went with choice 1 will probably still remember this person when they move further on down the hallway. The people who went with choice 2 will most likely forget about the scream by the time they are down the hall and will instead be focusing on whatever task they had at hand.
Before you start chastising the people who picked choice 2 in the latter scenario, lets quickly analyze what separates the first scenario from the second.
In the first scenario, we see a case that we are all familiar with(3) and are thus desensitized to. So what if that guy is asking for money? Homeless people are always asking for money and whether you give him any money or not won't change the fact that this is nothing out of the norm and thus not worth remembering as you move forward.
In the second scenario however, we see a case that is unfamiliar to most people. In that regard, I would wager that most people would then go with choice 1 because certainly they would like to find out whats causing this person to plea with such agony for help. Furthermore, most people would also probably be hard pressed to forget the encounter because of how unusual it is.
Then what does it mean to be a person who went with choice 2? Does it make them horrible people? Maybe, that is indeed a possibility(4). However, more likely is the fact that for these people the second scenario is just like the first scenario: a situation to which they have become desensitized.(5)
Welcome to medicine.
I can distinctly recall how amazed I was the first time I shadowed a doctor and found out that he was able to deliver terrible news to a patient and then move on.(6) It baffled me that here was a man who was able to offer the most sincere apology while delivering bad news from a surgery and then be able to completely move on from the event with no apparent lingering sadness(7). Was it all just a show? Did he simply put on a face to appease the mourning family and take it off the moment they were out of view?
For a split second I was guilty of that very thought. Here was a man who had spent the past three weeks showing me the beauty and intricacies of the human heart and in one phrase he had shattered all admiration I had for him.(8) I was disgusted and fortunately for me, my face displayed my emotions for all the world to see.(9)
Dr. Smith immediately noticed that something was amiss and asked me what was going through my mind. I tried at first to form a lie that would stop me from calling Dr. Smith a two faced arse, but the words did not come to me and I ended up telling him that I was incredulous at how easily he had been able to wave off the death of a patient once the family was out of view.(10) To say that Dr. Smith was shocked would be an understatement, a massive one. He didn't get mad at me, though he should have, he simply stayed quiet until we walked past an empty room and asked me to go in.
It was there that I learned my first real lesson in medicine: the art of staying sane when all around you unbelievable sadness is taking place. As medical professionals, we are subjected daily to human anguish that most people do not encounter in a lifetime. It is not uncommon to see a father grieving over the immobile body of his brain dead son in one room and then move on to another room where a grandmother is coding while her family watches in agony as life slowly leaves her. To encounter such situations and take the brunt of their emotions full on would leave anybody destroyed in a matter of days; yet we have to keep going hour after hour, day after day.
How can we do this? Simple, we slowly allow ourselves to be desensitized to the fatigue that such encounters place on our souls. We tuck them in the back of our minds so that we can move on and focus on the matter at hand. It is a harsh way to live but we must be steady in our course because when we lose the ability to concentrate on the next patient, we leave an open invitation for more heartbreak to come and wreak havoc on our lives.
Dr. Smith told me that he never forgets the patients who pass away under his care, he mourns for them in his own way at his own pace. They inspire him to work harder at being a surgeon, to read one extra research paper every day, and to teach more effectively to all of his students. In that way, each life lost ends up saving hundreds more. Furthermore, if he had had chosen to dwell in sadness for the rest of the day then there would be nobody to operate on the other patients awaiting his care that day. And thus desensitization in medicine can be a powerful tool. One that allows doctors to channel their grief over one patient into salvation for another.
***
Now lets go back to the second scenario mentioned before. Do you still think that the people who went with choice 2 are cruel, cold hearted people? Is it possible that they are simply desensitized to such emotional assault and are simply trying to focus on their original task? Remember that just because they ignored the plea does not mean that they do not care. If you can think in such a way then maybe, just maybe, you'll make it in medicine.(11)
________________________________________________________
1. This is the majority of your guys, don't lie.
2. You cold hearted basterd!
3. Unless you've never been to a city, then chances are that you never encountered a homeless person asking for change. In that case, rejoice! You still feel sympathy for the homeless and are probably one of the kinder people around.
4. You cold hearted basterd!
5. But keep in mind that desensitized is not necessarily the same as "does not care," if you keep reading you'll understand.
6. It went something like this: "Mrs. Johnson, I am terribly sorry but we were unable to take Mr. Johnson off of the bypass after the procedure was over. It is truly unfortunate but we lost him." :cue crying, genuine sadness from Dr. Smith. 10 seconds later as we're walking down the hall: "Hey zeeshan, do you want to grab some lunch? I am starving."
7. The key word here is "apparent." Dr. Smith was an excellent surgeon, and unbelievably kind hearted. I ran into him six years after the fact and he still remembered that case. Turns out that being able to move on without losing a beat isn't the same as forgetting. Hopefully, you've read the rest of this article before reading this note otherwise you'll have arrived at the punchline too quickly.
8. See footnote 6.
9. Literally the only time where my terrible poker face saved me from thinking terrible thoughts about a person for the rest of my life.
10. For clarification, this was me during my naiive college days when I did not know enough to censor my words lest they be taken as offensive. The look of shock on Dr. Smith's face after hearing what I said still haunts me because here was a man who I had seen unflinchingly crack open ribs and massage hearts back to life and the first real moment of surprise I saw from him was due to something I said. Strong work.
11. Says the MEDICAL STUDENT! I apologize if this post was a bit confusing or incomplete. The subject matter is hard and I will explore it further and in more detail at a later time. Want to help? Leave a comment.
For a split second I was guilty of that very thought. Here was a man who had spent the past three weeks showing me the beauty and intricacies of the human heart and in one phrase he had shattered all admiration I had for him.(8) I was disgusted and fortunately for me, my face displayed my emotions for all the world to see.(9)
Dr. Smith immediately noticed that something was amiss and asked me what was going through my mind. I tried at first to form a lie that would stop me from calling Dr. Smith a two faced arse, but the words did not come to me and I ended up telling him that I was incredulous at how easily he had been able to wave off the death of a patient once the family was out of view.(10) To say that Dr. Smith was shocked would be an understatement, a massive one. He didn't get mad at me, though he should have, he simply stayed quiet until we walked past an empty room and asked me to go in.
It was there that I learned my first real lesson in medicine: the art of staying sane when all around you unbelievable sadness is taking place. As medical professionals, we are subjected daily to human anguish that most people do not encounter in a lifetime. It is not uncommon to see a father grieving over the immobile body of his brain dead son in one room and then move on to another room where a grandmother is coding while her family watches in agony as life slowly leaves her. To encounter such situations and take the brunt of their emotions full on would leave anybody destroyed in a matter of days; yet we have to keep going hour after hour, day after day.
How can we do this? Simple, we slowly allow ourselves to be desensitized to the fatigue that such encounters place on our souls. We tuck them in the back of our minds so that we can move on and focus on the matter at hand. It is a harsh way to live but we must be steady in our course because when we lose the ability to concentrate on the next patient, we leave an open invitation for more heartbreak to come and wreak havoc on our lives.
Dr. Smith told me that he never forgets the patients who pass away under his care, he mourns for them in his own way at his own pace. They inspire him to work harder at being a surgeon, to read one extra research paper every day, and to teach more effectively to all of his students. In that way, each life lost ends up saving hundreds more. Furthermore, if he had had chosen to dwell in sadness for the rest of the day then there would be nobody to operate on the other patients awaiting his care that day. And thus desensitization in medicine can be a powerful tool. One that allows doctors to channel their grief over one patient into salvation for another.
***
Now lets go back to the second scenario mentioned before. Do you still think that the people who went with choice 2 are cruel, cold hearted people? Is it possible that they are simply desensitized to such emotional assault and are simply trying to focus on their original task? Remember that just because they ignored the plea does not mean that they do not care. If you can think in such a way then maybe, just maybe, you'll make it in medicine.(11)
________________________________________________________
1. This is the majority of your guys, don't lie.
2. You cold hearted basterd!
3. Unless you've never been to a city, then chances are that you never encountered a homeless person asking for change. In that case, rejoice! You still feel sympathy for the homeless and are probably one of the kinder people around.
4. You cold hearted basterd!
5. But keep in mind that desensitized is not necessarily the same as "does not care," if you keep reading you'll understand.
6. It went something like this: "Mrs. Johnson, I am terribly sorry but we were unable to take Mr. Johnson off of the bypass after the procedure was over. It is truly unfortunate but we lost him." :cue crying, genuine sadness from Dr. Smith. 10 seconds later as we're walking down the hall: "Hey zeeshan, do you want to grab some lunch? I am starving."
7. The key word here is "apparent." Dr. Smith was an excellent surgeon, and unbelievably kind hearted. I ran into him six years after the fact and he still remembered that case. Turns out that being able to move on without losing a beat isn't the same as forgetting. Hopefully, you've read the rest of this article before reading this note otherwise you'll have arrived at the punchline too quickly.
8. See footnote 6.
9. Literally the only time where my terrible poker face saved me from thinking terrible thoughts about a person for the rest of my life.
10. For clarification, this was me during my naiive college days when I did not know enough to censor my words lest they be taken as offensive. The look of shock on Dr. Smith's face after hearing what I said still haunts me because here was a man who I had seen unflinchingly crack open ribs and massage hearts back to life and the first real moment of surprise I saw from him was due to something I said. Strong work.
11. Says the MEDICAL STUDENT! I apologize if this post was a bit confusing or incomplete. The subject matter is hard and I will explore it further and in more detail at a later time. Want to help? Leave a comment.
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