The one with the band of brothers

Here's a secret for all of you guys(1) out there, medical school is frickin hard. Not just regular old "this exam is gonna be hard, why the hell do they make us learn this useless shit any way" kind of hard, its more of a "holy shit if I fail this exam I'm screwed because the rest of my life depends on this(2)" kind of hard. Imagine going through that, every three weeks, for three and a half years(3). That is enough to drive anybody crazy, full on cuckoo bananas crazy.

But here's the thing, you don't really meet too many batshit crazy doctors. Why is that? I mean all the signs say that a hefty chunk of medschool grads should be a little bit unsettled, that is what 3.5 years of constant stress should do to you. But they don't. Most of us make it through the process as sane as the day we started(4), and I don't mind sharing how.

Is your interest piqued?

Ok fine, here it goes: its because of our friends.(5)

In her book, Dr. Michelle Au compared going to medical school to being in the army(6). It isn't really a far fetched comparison when you think about it because both endeavors are harsh and require a hefty amount of teamwork to pull you through it. By the end of both you are a member of a tight band of brothers that have gone to hell and back and know each others deepest secrets. These are the ones that made you relax when you were panicking about the first anatomy exam and the same ones who slapped you back to your senses when you thought that the Step 1 was unbeatable.(7)

However, before I get in too deep with the discussion I think it is wise to point out that not all people go through the same experience.  In terms of social willingness, there are two types of people in medical school: the visible and the invisible.  The invisible people are those that you never really see in the social realm.  For numerous reasons(8), they don't interact too heavily with the other members of their year and pretty much the only time you see them is during school related activities.  No joke, during the first two years of school I got used to seeing new faces I had never seen before on exam day.  Don't expect these guys to come out to party with you.  They still make it through the process just fine.

I'm part of the other group of people, the visible ones.  Most of the strong relationships I have right now were formed in medical school(9) and I'm very thankful for that.  These friendships started in the anatomy lab when we helped each other figure out which nerve was which, continued in the study lounges and libraries where we couldn't understand the formulas for lung capacities, and were cemented the days before and after exams when we tried to erase our panicking minds with comforting thoughts.  After going through such "hardship"(10) it is only reasonable to hang out and party with the people that helped you get through it.

And so we started going out after big exams which led to going out after no exams and pretty soon the people I thought to call on a lazy day weren't the best friends I had growing up, they were the best friends that I grew up with in the study of medicine.

And its safe to say that my experience wasn't alone.  The same process that I went through happened with roughly 100 or so other classmates of mine who now have the same bond that I share with my circle.  I've grown accustomed to hearing somebody's voice in the hall and knowing exactly who they will be with, it is awesome.

Of course this is nothing new to society.  In fact situations such as this are the basis of friendship in every culture.  Yet for those of us in medicine, we know that there is nothing quite like the bonds formed through this trial.  Friendships formed during high periods of stress are somewhat different that friendships formed during ease.  They're like diamonds in that they are formed in relatively short periods of times due to enormous pressure, but ultimately lasting longer than most others.

I'll wrap up this rambling post now(11), but one final statement before I do: to all my friends reading this, thank you so much for being there for me.  Without all of you I never would have gotten this far and while there is still much work to be done, I know I can count on you to help me through it.  This one is for you my band of brothers.

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1.) And girls, just in case any of you got offended by the male only definition. However I do hate doing the multiple gender PC statements so from here on out just assume that whenever I say "guys" or something of the like I mean "guys and girls."

2.) Another thing you should know, medical students are really dramatic.

3.) The second half of fourth year is pretty much bullshit...we'll get to that later.

4.) Mostly sane...or 3/4 sane at worst!

5.) Bet you didn't see that coming!! Its like the bus that hit Regina George, you know which Regina I'm talking about.

6.) What, you didn't think I was the only one out there writing about this experience did you? Go ahead, search for other blogs...after reading this post.

7.) True story, that exam destroyed my soul.


8.) From my experience, its usually firm grounded relationships that they had prior to school. This ranges from anything between super strong home friends, significant others, kids, etc.  You have to remember that a hefty chunk of people in the schooling process are older, they tend to already have lives of their own and don't really need to make too many new friends.

9.) Thats not to say that I have no friends outside of my classmates, far from it.  Its just that when you're in school, and single, its really hard to find time to hang out with your other friends.  Whenever they're free, you have an exam to study for and whenever you're free, they're working.  This is why most of us have such strong friends from medical school, simply because they were around and more or less on the same schedule.

10.) In quotes because lets face it, having to study really hard isn't really a hardship as viewed by the rest of the world.  That being said, shit's still hard.

11.) See what I did there? Zing!